Before I had kids I had a career where I got to do big and important things. Like dress up as a giant sandwich and throw out pitches.
But then I had a baby.
And spent all my free time trying to get her to do tricks.
But all she really wanted to do was dance.
And then I had another baby 16 months later and almost went crazy.
But then I won the lottery and everything was okay again.
Sometimes we have issues with the first kid being a bad influence, with her foul mouth and dancing all the time.
I have no idea where she learns such things.
Because I am awesome.
