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Before I had kids I had a career where I got to do big and important things.  Like dress up as a giant sandwich and throw out pitches. 

But then I had a baby.


And spent all my free time trying to get her to do tricks. 

But all she really wanted to do was dance. 

And then I had another baby 16 months later and almost went crazy. 

But then I won the lottery and everything was okay again. 

Sometimes we have issues with the first kid being a bad influence, with her foul mouth and dancing all the time. 

I have no idea where she learns such things. 

Because I am awesome.