Da 'hoe

Last Monday I woke up to this sweet bitch outside my house...

...(the Tahoe, not my daughter) with strict instructions to hit the town and unlock the keys to St. Louis for a week. 

Don't mind if I do!

Reluctantly, I said goodbye to my righteous mini van

cranked the tunes

and saddled up. 

First we went in search of the lone elk at Lone Elk Park. 

When we found him I was slightly afraid but he turned out to be ever the gentleman.

We also ran into a gang of bison. 

And made a Ted Drewes stop on the way home.

Later that week it was on to Grant's Farm, which I think permanently scarred my kids for life.  I wasn't about to abandon ship because... well... free beer. 

And finally, we ended our week at the Purina Farms haunted hayloft. 

I think the man who modeled for this statue was the first and only date I've ever had on Match.com, by the way.

You know how you go shoe shopping and you try on all those shiny new shoes, then you put your old tennis shoes back on and they suddenly seem a lot more disgusting and smelly and you notice there are dried boogers on the back of your headrest?

Yeah, that.