That's a wrap

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It takes a special kind of friend to call you up and ask if you'd be interested in trying out her new fat wraps. 

I'm sure the conversation went something like:

My Friend Carrie:  Hey, I started selling these new wraps.  They're especially good for postpartum women trying to firm up their bellies.  Want to give them a whirl?  I'll hook you up with a few and if you like them you can talk about them on your blog.

What I heard:

My Friend Carrie:  You so fat you gotta go to Sea World to get baptized! 

Obviously I would never say no to something that might help out my stomach, which, after three kids in 30 months, is TOTALLY thrashed. 

Ellie got the ball rolling nicely:


Lila picked it up and kicked it over the fence:


And then Hadley grabbed it and repeatedly bludegoned me in the gut until every inch was shredded and there was no way in hell I would ever come close to flashing anybody at Mardi Gras ever again:


So Carrie came over and gave me the demo.  Which meant she would actually see my stomach.  In person.  I asked her to do it with her eyes closed but she kept jacking me in the face so I finally had to do the big reveal.  Soon Carrie, all three of my kids and my niece Rikki were gathered around it, mouths gaping open, watching her apply the wrap. 

We let it marinate under a layer of saran wrap for just under an hour and when we took it off... viola!  By some miracle from god my stomach had shrunk.  Not anything totally drastic, because let's face it - if you want liposuction results you're gonna have to do some lipo suction.  But enough that I could notice a difference. 

I took a picture because I considered showing you all the before and after.  And you know I'm not shy about showing you stuff here.  I mean - I'll show the scale when I step ongive you the gory details about having a mole removed from special places... I even showed you a picture of me wearing a freaking catheter.  Really there's been no limit.  Until now.  I just couldn't do it.  I'd be kicked off the internet for posting vulgar photos.  And I would be totally wrecking your unborn childrens' dreams of someday becoming a real human being. 

But I found some close pics on the internet:

Before:

After:
*

*Actual results may vary. 

I've done three wraps so far and I do really like them.  I strap one on, pop in my Walk The Line DVD and shout encouraging words at my belly button.  And I won't share pictures but I WILL share my measurements (does anyone else simply detest the feel of a measuring tape against their belly, by the way?):

Bust:  33 to a 31
Waist:  35 3/4 to a 34
Hips:  39 1/2 to a 36

I've also been doing boot camp two mornings a week which hasn't hurt.  But in addition to the inches I've noticed my stomach is less hangy and the skin is less bumpy.

So here's some of the details about the It Works! wraps from Carrie:

-Botanically based formula that delivers maximum tightening, toning and firming results where applied to the skin. Skin will look hydrated, more youthful, with improved appearancce of body contours and cellulite.
-Ultimate body app is successful for the majority of users the very first time it is used
-Along with applicator, sensible eating habits and a regular exercise are recommended for optimum results
-Average inch loss is 1-3 inches per application
-Immediate results in 45 minutes
-Continues to work for 72 hours after removing applicator
-Results last 2-6 months
-Natural herbs metabolize fat to energy (paraben free)
-Non diuretic- it actually needs water to flush fat and toxins (drink lots of water before and after wrap) - not water weight lost - actual inches and pounds loss
-Works for men and women
-Firms, tones and smoothes in cellulite-prone areas
-Minimizes "spongy" appearance
-Use one applicator every 72 hours until desired results. Use applicator one time per month and continue sensible eating and exercise to maintain results.
-Perfect for postpartum women (but don't use if you're pregnant)

So... here's how you can win some free stuff. 

For all of my Facebook friends who sign up for the loyalty program with Carrie between June 26 and July 6 (you commit to three months of four wraps/month) you'll be entered to win a free four pack of wraps.

Or, if you don't want to commit to three months and just want to give it a whirl, you have two options:

Order one at a time directly from her website, or
Host a party.  You'll need a minimum of four people and you and your friends can try a wrap for $30 each. 

You can email Carrie with questions or to set up a party.  I've already made her promise not to show anyone the pics she took of me though, so don't even try. 

Contest rules:  One winner will be randomly selected on July 7 and notified via Facebook email.  Winner will have 48 hours to claim prize.  Must be legal resident of the United States.  Prize has no cash value.  Winner holds contest administrators harmless. 

2 comments:

Catmatch said...

I found your blog by accident and totally love your sense of humor. You are outrageous and it is so great. Thank you for all that you share. I loved your outlandish before and after pics. I mean really...but a smile for me is always the best in this hot as crazy summer!

Hannah said...

Hey - I'm glad you're here! Thanks!