Nick has been working like a dog lately which is super inconvenient for me because I have to take on some of his household chores. In addition to his weekly duties of ignoring the overflowing diaper pail and drinking all but the last swallow of the Crystal Lite, I've been in charge of bath night.
Three little kids - one me.
It's been a while since I've given them a bath by myself and on Saturday night, as I began to wash Lila's hair, I made a shocking discovery.
There was a raccoon attached to the back of her head.
When dry, her baby mullet (bullet) looks slightly scraggly and teeters on trailer park but is generally non-threatening.
But the minute I got it wet it took on a new life. Like an evil alter ego. That thing stretched halfway down her back and I swear I heard it whisper something about stealing my wallet.
It was time to go.
Without the fanfare of Ellie's first haircut at an overpriced posh kids' salon (where we made an appointment two weeks in advance) that presents all of its customers with a "first haircut" certificate and a live pony, I ran Lila into a bargain salon and just asked for the first person off their smoke break.
The Chops A Lot 3000 it was.
I mean, I don't know a lot about haircuts but I think this is bad.
Like, REALLY bad.
Every time I look at her all I can think of is my least favorite stooge.
That then morphs into her face.
In 30 years she's going to ask me why there are no pictures of her when she was little. And I'll tell her the truth. It's because she was terrifying.