The Great Candy Exchange

As my kids grow older I continue to be happily surprised by the number of opportunities I have to exploit them for my own personal benefit. 

Halloween is a perfect example. 

Of course, I could save myself the trouble of driving to seven different stores to assemble the world's most perfect DIY SCUBA diver costume and just buy a few bags of my own miniature candy bars.  However, I beleive the sooner my children are forced to experience public humiliation the easier their high school years will be. 

Plus I like teaching them valuable lessons like 'what's yours is mine so hand over your candy, homie.' 

Now we all know nothing beats a good mini Butterfinger.  While someone rubs your feet.  In a hot tub.  But I think we can also agree that nothing's worse than the crippling regret of indigestion that inevitably accompanies downing an entire bag of chocolate.  And, let's be honest, we all know you have no self-control when that pile of soon-to-be cellulite is staring you in the face. 

So what's a girl to do?

I'm sure the thought of parting with your hard earned candy is enough to leave you shuddering in the back of your pantry.  But listen up, saddle bags - it's for the greater good to get that stuff out of your house STAT.  And by greater good I mean the good of your ass.  And the good of keeping your kids' teeth from rotting out of their head if you choose to share. 

This Saturday (November 5) from 10am - 2pm you can bring your leftover (or new) unopened, packaged candy to the Delta Dental Health Theatre (727 North First Street downtown) and they'll send it to our troops overseas.  It's really a win/win - save money on liposuction while supporting our soldiers! 

There will be tons of fun stuff for the kids to ease the sting of relinquishing your candy - interactive games, face painting, balloon art, shows, prizes and a meet and greet with Dora, Diego, Buzz Lightyear, the Tooth Fairy and the Delta Dental Health Theatre characters.  You can also get one extra wear out of that Halloween costume you can't beleive you paid $20 for only two hours' use. 

Area schools, clubs and classrooms can get involved too - the organization that donates the most candy (by weight) will receive free admission to a 2012 show at the Delta Dental Health Theatre.  And the school with the highest attendance will receive a $250 donation to buy books for their library.

I hope to see you all there!  I'll be the one singing "I Will Always Love You" into the candy barrel.