Someday... somewhere... there will be a man looking for a woman with the eyes of an angel, and the mouth of a sailor.
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Old, but not yet crusty, skidmarks...
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Last night my Fussy Friend Stacey and I went to see Bob Saget do stand up. She is my Fussy Friend because she will ask the waitress eight ti... -
The day after Hadley was born they took out my catheter and my worst fear was realized - I couldn't pee. Well now that's not enti... -
Oh my god trying to lose weight sucks balls so bad. Big wrinkled sweaty smelly bloated old man balls and I hate it. I worked out five days l... -
The word 'misery' can mean different things to different people. For some it can mean being duck taped to a fence post while a... -
Last night I dreamed that I was drafted by the Cardinals to be the first female professional baseball player in history. I was a closer... -
In an effort to absolve a few of the things I did on my wedding night that I'm pretty sure are against God's natural plan for men ... -
Unlike many people, I am a big fan of new year's resolutions. Yes, it's true that most will be broken before the previous night&... -
I went to snatch it out of her hands but then I remembered she can't read. WARNING: If your last name is, or ever has been, Mayer o... -
There is at least one point in my day when, if Nick were to walk in the house unexpectedly, he would promptly turn right around and never... -
Last night my single friend Carrie came over to do my hair and regale me with stories about what life is like on the outside. I always get a...
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