Nick: Here we go.
Me: And I started thinking that you might get re-married to someone who can cook and clean and doesn't nag you about drinking all of the Crystal Lite and putting an empty container back in the refrigerator and helps you with yard work and won't talk you into buying a bigger house than we can really afford and is always all agreeable and skinny and stuff. I didn't like it because she'll make me look really bad. So if I die please don't get re-married.
Nick: Don't worry. I would NEVER do this to myself again.
Me: Good. *takes bite of pad thai*