Scale of Truth - Week 6

Meet Kate, my new personal trainer:

Believe it or not Kate used to be a real fatty after she had her son.

I was having some big trouble getting over the hump and decided it was time for some professional help. Losing weight at 34 is a hell of a lot harder than it was at 22.

I asked around and the word on the street was that Kate is the best of the best. And looking at my naked body I knew I needed someone who means business. Or a bull dozer.

The first thing we did is sit down so she could learn a little more about why I was there. I mean, other than the obvious - that my belly button is down to my ankles and my thighs look like I just got pelted with a bunch of paintballs.

Kate: So what are you hoping to accomplish?

Me: Well, see this here? *grabs two handfuls of skin on stomach* I'd prefer my stomach not to look like it's melting.

Kate: *writes something down* No problem. Okay, let's talk about nutrition. How would you say your diet is?

Me: Compared to what?

Kate: Well, what did you have for breakfast this morning?

Me: (thinking) lie lie lie, make something up. Don't tell her you had a bowl of pancake batter.

A bowl of pancake batter.

Kate: Just pancake batter?

Me: Well no, silly, there was butter and syrup in there too. Oh and I had a Slim Fast shake.

Kate: Hmmmm. *writes something down* Okay, now let's get some measurements.

She handed me a device that looked like an XBox controller and told me to hold it so it could read my body fat.

It said 32.5.

Me: Is that good or bad?

Kate: Well, let's see where you fall on the chart.

There were six categories on the chart: Excellent, very good, average, poor, very poor, and dude what the fuck.

You can guess which category I fell into.

Me: Well, I'm almost in the very poor section.

Kate: (moving her finger down) yeah, if you were a 54-year-old woman. Don't worry - you'll soon be a lean, mean fighting machine.

So the work out ensued and I have to say it was the fastest hour I've ever worked out in my life. Usually when I'm on the treadmill I am literally counting the seconds until my four minutes is up. But Kate and I talked and laughed and, dare I say it, I even had fun.

Even though I do recall telling her that I hated her evil soul from hell and I hope she dies a horrible death on the way home when I was doing some plank hand slap thing. I can't help it - I get angry sometimes when I work out.

I'm totally going to give her some props here - if you're interested in hooking it up with Kate you can check out her website or shoot her an email. Her site also has some recipes that I may get the courage to try someday. I didn't see anything about pancake batter which makes me a little skeptical, though.

The first session is free, and you can do group sessions or hit up her boot camp class on Saturdays.

I had some good workouts last week, both with Kate and on the treadmill getting ready for my 5K this Saturday. So I'm down a total of 5 1/2 pounds.


5 1/2 down, 13 to go.

Oh, and I'm switching the scale of truth to once a month instead of once a week. So don't give me any flack when you don't see it there next Monday.

I know how you people are.


beth said...

Holla! Way to go Sis! i'm jealous-not jealous enough for me to actually do something about it yet-just regular jealous....

Sarah Kate said...

I'm really proud of you Hannah!!! I bought a scale so I can do it with you! If I'm going to line up my next 3 husbands I gotta get the gut gone.