But I was wrong.
The worst sound in the world is your two children engaging in a well choreographed 3am symphony of hacking, sneezing, sniffling and pitiful moaning.
"Better them than me, though," I thought, rolling over and going back to sleep.
Long story short, I'm not going to be the asshole who brings a couple of kids dripping with snot into the gym nursery. Seriously, every time Ellie sneezes a baby python flies out of her nostril.
So the scale of truth is postponed until I can safely take these little vectors back out in public.
In the meantime, if anyone would like to stop by and keep me company, please do so. Really... please. Or at least send burritos. If I'm not getting on the scale today I might as well make the most of it.
However, to satisfy your thirst for looking at someone else's weight, please allow me to introduce Elizabeth:
Elizabeth's hobbies include traveling, photography, underestimating the amount of time she has to do something, and making me feel like a big ole blimp because she's starting at a weight I will have to starve myself over a period of years to achieve.
And in case you were wondering Kim DID get kidnapped in the night by a group of banshees. At least that's what she told me when I asked her for the 100th time if she was returning to the scale of truth.