Hot blooded

Hey parents! Wanna hear a quick way to find out if your body is able to withstand a massive heart attack? It's easy. Just take your child's temperature and if the first three numbers are 105, see if the crushing pains radiating through your chest cavity are enough to kill you.

Yesterday started out like any other day. Lila was upstairs asleep in a Benadryl-induced coma because, you know, her nose hasn't stopped running since December.

Ellie and I were outside and I was busy inspecting her work, explaining to her that if she didn't pull the weeds at the root she would just have to do it all over again in a couple of months and she really needed to finish up so she could move on to the mulch. She had been a little irrationally fussy but I thought that was just because her back was starting to hurt from dragging the yard waste bags around to the front.

Realizing we were pushing the limits of child labor laws, I decided it was time to bring her in for a snack. Besides, the Benadryl had worn off and the baby monitor was broadcasting Lila's cries for food across the neighborhood.

I gave Ellie a healthy snack of frosted animal crackers and Pop Tarts and started fixing a bottle for the screaming baby when I noticed Ellie was violently shivering at the table.

Shift to panic mode.

I laid Lila on the floor, put both of her hands on either side of the bottle and said, "It's now or never girl," hoping by some miracle of nature she would magically figure out how to feed herself while I investigated what's up with Ellie.

"It's your only hope to avoid starvation!" I yelled over my shoulder as I ran away and heard the bottle hit the floor.

Meanwhile, Ellie was still shivering uncontrollably as I grabbed her and rushed upstairs to take her temperature. As she was laying on the changing table her eyes started to flutter and it looked like she was fighting to stay conscious as the thermometer continued to climb. 102, 103, 104, 105... I didn't wait to see how much further it went before I yanked it out of her netherlands and grabbed my phone.

Shift to freak the fuck out mode.

In hindsight, calling Nick and scream/crying "Ellie is on the verge of death" when he picked up the phone might have been a poor choice of words. Both for Nick and for Ellie's sake. But I wanted some company in freak the fuck out mode.

Long story short, a few doses of Motrin, a couple cold baths and a visit to the doctor later, we have no idea what it was or what caused it but her fever was gone by midnight and this morning it's like nothing ever happened.

Well, except for the fact that half my hair is now gray and the other half fell out.

Now the real joy of having two kids kicks in - I will not rest until someone else is sick.


Leslie said...

Hope everything is back to normal soon. :-)