As I previously mentioned, I was out of town for four days last week at a blogger conference. I left explicit instructions with Nick including a schedule of their daily routine and lists of games and activities they like. I even pulled the food out of the pantry and lined it up on the counter in chronological eating order.
I guess I wasn't specific enough.
Me: Why are there safety pins on the girls' dresser?
Nick: Well, Lila was rolling over in her crib a lot and I was afraid she was going to suffocate so I...
Me (thinking): Please dear Lord in heaven, merciful Jesus, with your flowing hair and righteous beard, please father son holy ghost almighty Galilee virgin unto you thy servants testament Israel glory don't let him say what I think he's going to say
Nick: ...pinned her pajamas to the mattress.
Nick: And it worked like a charm. See how happy and alivey she is?
Nick: Don't go getting all judgey because I didn't stick EXACTLY to your schedule, Miss Rigid. You parent your way, I parent mine. (takes bite of apple)
Me: You mean the legal way?
Nick: Let's not split hairs here.