On Saturday night we attended the graduation party of one of our friends who recently got her master's degree. The Evite stated the party began at 5:00. We were there at 5:01.

We weren't able to find a babysitter for New Year's Eve so we spent the night watching about fifty episodes of The Twilight Zone and fighting back tears as we read texts from our friends about the crazy times they were having getting sick in flower pots and avoiding sobriety checkpoints. So on Saturday we had a lot of making up for our lamehood to do.

The party was held in a private room at a bar and when we walked in at 5:01 we were greeted by no one but a lone balloon floating in the middle of the room.

We were there before the host.

We were there before the music.

But more importantly we were there before the bartenders.

We were what some might call "huge dorks".

Forty minutes later, as we sat at the bar ordering our second round of drinks, still the only ones in the place...

Me: Wait a minute... is this all really a big surprise party for me? Are all of my friends and family going to jump out from underneath the pool table at any moment to celebrate my fabulousness?

Nick: For you it would be more like a surprise intervention.

Me: Bartender! I said TWO limes in my double Jack and Coke! Now what were you saying? Hey do you think they would mind if I tied this balloon in my hair?