RRRRRRRRRRRR (tornado siren)
Me: Oh, the mailman is out there. I'm going to ask him if he wants to come in until the storm is over.
Nick: That sounds like the beginning of a porno.
Me: How would you know?
Nick: Research. Lots and lots of research.
Me: What were you researching?
Nick: Interesting scenarios of how I might find myself in a porno.
Me: Did it work out?
Nick: No. Turns out if you show up at someone's house to fix their plumbing and make a couple of sexually charged comments they usually call the police.
Me: Let's just go to the basement.
In what might have been the best Christmas present ever known to man, Nick's brother and sister gave us a date night last night. She babysat while he acted as chauffeur.
And it was glorious.
This morning was not so glorious.
And I know what you're thinking.
"Geez - all she does is talk about how much she drinks and her horrible hangovers and poopy diapers"
Well, ok. I have nothing to say to that.
To add insult to injury I had a dentist appointment this morning. And I came to realize mid-scrape while I was told that I have three cavities and the beginnings of some gum disease thing that will require a deep cleaning so horrific that I'll have to have someone punch me in the face to knock me out for it that there is no hell greater than someone scraping your teeth with a hangover.
Wait, there is one thing worse. Getting your teeth scraped with a hangover and a tornado warning outside.
And I woke up this morning with some sort of stye in my eye.
I can smell a New Year's resolution somewhere in all of this.