Priest: Do you Hannah, take Cheesecake for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?
Hannah: Yes, yes... a thousand times YES!
Priest: Do you Cheesecake, take Hannah for your lawful wedded...
Cheesecake: Hello? Hello? Oh thank god - is someone out there? For christ sake call the police! I've been abducted! I can't... I can't see anything... it's very dark in here! I... I think I may actually be stuffed in a pair of someone's underwear! Someone's very large granny panties! Wh... what the hell is she doing? Oh the humanity!
Despite date raping a cheesecake last night, I've lost two pounds this week. But The Pants of Truth still pretty much look the same.
And yes, Paula - I know I need a pedicure. You should just be glad you can't see my legs. I look like an alpaca.
Onward.
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