At least this time I didn't post a picture

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Last night my single friend Carrie came over to do my hair and regale me with stories about what life is like on the outside. I always get a little nervous when my single or child-free friends come over because I feel like I'm recruiting for Team Family.

That's what happens once you have kids - you want as many other people to have kids as possible because the less single people there are in the world the less people there are to remind you about what life is like without hauling the plow of responsibility with a yoke locked around your neck.

Every time I run into someone single, whether it be in the grocery store or in my house, I'm in recruitment mode and pray my kids act on their best behavior.
"Join us" I whisper as I pass by.

Anyhoo, my hair was so gross it was almost illegal so Carrie came to my rescue.

Carrie: blah blah fabulous time at the bar the other night blah blah fabulous business trip blah blah I can do anything I want no responsibility blah blah blah I'm getting plenty of sleep.

Blah.

Right about the time I started feeling the awesome sweetness of the magical chemicals burn my scalp I went to pick Lila up from her swing when I saw the oh too familiar brown circle of death from her waist to her armpits.

OH GOD NOT IN THE MY 'LIL LAMB SWING!

It had been 9 days since she had pooped. Do you have any comprehension of what 9 days of poop looks like? I put her on the changer and ran upstairs to get more diapers, leaving Carrie downstairs.

Carrie: HURRY! IT'S STARTING TO OOZE OUT THE TOP!

So it was.

I came back downstairs and found Carrie removing her uterus on my couch. There was nothing left to do but put a towel over Lila, put her in a bath and chalk this one up to unfortunate timing.

Another one bites the dust.

3 comments:

MommyLovesStilettos said...

BAHAHAHA!! Hilarious post! :)

Carrie Straatman said...

I seriously will never look at mustard or creamed corn the same ever again. And the smell! Wow, Hannah you missed the part where I started sniffing and huffing the left over color in the bowl to singe the lining of my nose.

And good thing Ellie was so well behaved while you gave Lila a bath cause I don't know if I could have handled anymore surprises.


Thanks for the education:)

Hannah said...

Yes, Carrie - I would have loved to elaborate but I typed this one handed while I breast fed Lila so I had to cut right to the chase. Plus, I don't want to discourage anyone else from joining Team Family.