What Can Brown Do For Me?

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Is there anything more still and peaceful than the wondrous beauty of a sleeping baby?

The answer is yes. It's the cold lifeless body of the UPS man if he ever honks that God damned horn again outside my baby's window between the hours of 2 and 4pm.

I hope you die a slow and horrible death. In fact, that goes for you too, stretch mark cream maker, and you - cellulite diminishing lotion maker. False hope is so much worse than no hope at all.

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