Land of 1,000 Hostas - Part 1


This weekend marked the one-year anniversary of the big move into our new house with a one-month-old. Yes, I said one-month-old. That last part is significant. Everyone told us we were crazy, and they were absolutely right.

There were times when I'd black out for a moment, and I would come-to and find myself standing in the backyard with a vase on my head singing Barbara Streisand songs into a bottle of ketchup.

I have organizational OCD, which means that I can't go to sleep at night until everything is in its place. This applies to everything from the remotes in the drawer (silver on the left, black on the right) to ensuring the receipts from the past 7 years are in correct chronological order in the cabinet. And I know what you're thinking, and no, it hasn't changed with kids.

The good news about this is that I single-handedly unpacked our entire house in about 36 hours, all the while praying to God that the C-section stitches placed in my abdomen a mere four weeks prior stuck tight. I didn't want Nick coming home from work to discover the final scene from Braveheart lying on our kitchen floor.

The bad news is that Ellie started soliciting adoption from area packs of wolves because she realized her Mother was bat shit crazy and would rather make sure the DVDs are properly alphabetized than tend to her basic human needs. Just wait, girl - it's in the genes.

We finally did get settled in, and save for the 20 additional bathrooms we'll need to add at some point for the houseful of girls I'm going to bear, it's pretty much perfect home. Oh, I didn't tell you? Oh yeah, I roofied Nick on our first date and removed all of his male-producing sperm, just in case things worked out between us. It was a routine practice in my 20s.

However, there is one little problem with the house that rears its ugly head during the spring and summer months - our yard springs to life and rivals the Roji-en Japanese gardens. This is a problem because I am incapable of keeping anything green and leafy alive. Trust me, I tried many times in college.

To be continued...