You're gonna need a bigger boat.
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Old, but not yet crusty, skidmarks...
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Last night my Fussy Friend Stacey and I went to see Bob Saget do stand up. She is my Fussy Friend because she will ask the waitress eight ti... -
The day after Hadley was born they took out my catheter and my worst fear was realized - I couldn't pee. Well now that's not enti... -
Oh my god trying to lose weight sucks balls so bad. Big wrinkled sweaty smelly bloated old man balls and I hate it. I worked out five days l... -
The word 'misery' can mean different things to different people. For some it can mean being duck taped to a fence post while a... -
Last night I dreamed that I was drafted by the Cardinals to be the first female professional baseball player in history. I was a closer... -
In an effort to absolve a few of the things I did on my wedding night that I'm pretty sure are against God's natural plan for men ... -
Unlike many people, I am a big fan of new year's resolutions. Yes, it's true that most will be broken before the previous night&... -
I went to snatch it out of her hands but then I remembered she can't read. WARNING: If your last name is, or ever has been, Mayer o... -
There is at least one point in my day when, if Nick were to walk in the house unexpectedly, he would promptly turn right around and never... -
Last night my single friend Carrie came over to do my hair and regale me with stories about what life is like on the outside. I always get a...
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3 comments:
I am so glad you have kept your sense of humor. When they get to be teenagers, we'll talk more. Just ALWAYS remember one very important thing as you go through life. It's against the law to kill your children.....I checked. Love you.
I'm still mad at you for making me do my homework. Look what it turned me into.
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